Sometimes the weirdest verses jump out at me. Like today…
Psalm 39:5 My wounds are foul and festering because of my foolishness.
Happy thoughts, I know, but often the deep wounds we carry are made worse because of how we choose to deal with them.
Foolishness: We don’t ask God to heal them. That sounds a real ‘Duh!’ moment, but I do that. I guess I figure if God let the wounds happen, there’s a reason, something I need to learn, so I’ll just suffer thru… Here’s a radical notion- the lesson may be ‘avail yourself of God’s grace!’
Foolishness: It didn’t really cause any real damage…
Foolishness: If I ignore it, it won’t affect my life
Foolishness: I can figure out a way to deal with this on my own
Foolishness: I am somehow tainted because of this, unworthy, less than everyone else
Foolishness: God cannot, will not forgive this
Psalm 39:9 Lord, all my desire is before You; and my sighing is not hidden from You.
Only God knows the true, deep longings of my soul. He knows what is missing, what is damaged. He’s heard not only when I’ve cried, but He is aware of every little twinge, every sting that slaps at me.
Psalm 39:18 For I will declare my iniquity; I will be in anguish over my sin.
God, You win. I will not try to heal myself any longer. That is presumptuous sin. I will own that sin, confess it, boldly expose it. I will bitterly mourn the hurt I’ve caused my Father because I’ve rejected Him and His healing for so long.