This past summer, we accepted a referral to adopt a baby boy. His due date was October 7. On August 28, we had the opportunity to meet with the birthmother, and things went well. On September 25, she texted us that in the beginning, she was “1000%” sure adoption was the best thing. Now, she was having second thoughts.
That was the last contact we had with her. She is not responding to the case worker’s attempts to contact her, either.
We paid her living expenses for three months, and as a result, it will be almost impossible for us to accept another referral and pursue another placement. Our license expires in March, and Jon will turn 50 next year, so it appears that our adoption window will close.
While this outcome was outside the possibilities–even the bad ones–I considered, God was well aware from the beginning. The tricky question is why? What purpose did it serve for us to go through this process seemingly for nothing? I don’t have an answer. I know that God in His awesome deity is not obligated to explain His ways to me … but I wish He would.
God can still act. Things can change rapidly and dramatically. Whether they do or even if they do not, HIS question remains, “Will you still TRUST Me? Will you still FOLLOW Me?”
There is no other answer but yes. But it’s a difficult yes.
My faith is wounded, to be sure, but it is healing.
Thank you for your prayers throughout.
Trials dark on every hand,
and we cannot understand
all the ways of God would lead us
to that blessed promised land;
but he guides us with his eye,
and we’ll follow till we die,
for we’ll understand it better by and by.
Charles A Tindley
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”